Things that never happen (Part 1)

There are various examples of things that never happen, this week, one occurred in our house, as I was making my sandwiches ... with a standard knife, I finished a pot of english mustard ... it was 4 years out of date (but still tasted fine!). I now have a new pot, with 1 year of shelf life ... let's see if I can complete this one any quicker ... anyone got a teaspoon?!